Um, Yes Please!

I was casually scouring the Iowa City housing market when I came across this delightful number. Four bedrooms, spacious yard, proxmity to a good public school. A true steal at just over $100,000.

Oh, and also it's on BJAYSVILLE FUCKING LANE! I mean, that alone should bump up the property value threefold.

You Know What Band Ruled?

Thomas Jefferson Airplane!

Although Thomas Jefferson Starship was kinda lame, and Jefferson Davis Airplane was just plain embarrassing.

Some People Have Musical Names!

These are all very real people who I found using whitepage.com. Imagine how much fun it would be to get them all together in one room...

-or-

(take your pick on that last one)

If some of these are a tad confusing, try ignoring the middle names.

The Cinematic Event of the Year...

MOTHRA STEWART!

Am I The Only One Who Missed This?

The president of Nigeria is named Goodluck motherfuckin' Jonathan!?! The dude's got my vote any day. Hanging out with babes on the reg? being named Goodluck? Running against some fool named Atiku Abubakar in an upcoming election? Mr. Jonathan is allllll set.

Also, just in case you were wondering which candidate is the forerunner when it comes to superior headwear style, Jonathan is the clear winner. Look at Mr. Funnyhat here:

What a fucking joker.

Also, here are my predictions regarding future Nigerian presidents:

2015: Highfive Eugene

2019: Bachelorparty Dennis

2023: Orgasmatron Steve

2027: Winninglotteryticket Brian

2031: Goodluck Jonathan (re-elected)