Saturday, February 28, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Search Begins...

Friends, I know my recent posts have been infrequent and, at times, drug-addled (see below). This is in part due to a time-consuming quest I have embarked upon. This valiant sojourn is the search for the Berkshires' best bowl of French onion soup. Since moving back to Lenox from San Francisco, my borderline obsession with burritos has slowly given way to a stalker-like romance affair with this soup of the gods - a mirth crock full of savory broth nectar, topped with a happiness bubble of salty, glistening cheese. At least, this is how a bowl of French onion soup is supposed to be. I tried making it the other day. It came out like a hot bowl of shame water with globs of anger cheese floating in it like those unexploded WWII sea mines drifting off the coast of who-the-hell-knows-where. So, having been met with personal failure, I decided to venture out into the world to find the finest bowl of the F.O.S. I could. The first place I tried, and the subject of this entry, is Lenox's own Bistro Zinc.

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Located on Church Street in Lenox's downtown Historic Village, the Bistro Zinc has been serving fine French cuisine since, uhhh, I wanna say 1998? The reason my memory has failed me is because Zinc was the first place I ever worked. I was a busboy there at the age of 14 during their first summer open to the public. It was the worst job of my life. I have a distinct memory of coming into work one evening and being enthusiastically shown photos of the restaurant's entire staff having an awesome day at the Six Flags amusement park the day before. I had not been invited. 14 was a rough age.

But all that is behind me now, so let's move onto the present, to 2009, to this:

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This bowl of French onion soup was nothing short of exquisite. The thick and complexly flavorful broth carried the aroma of dry white wine as much if not more than that of salt and beef stock. The cheese had a perfect amount of taste-power, simultaneously independent and strong, yet never overpowering the soup itself. It was not too greasy nor too lean. The only drawback here was the soup’s price, which came to a steep $8. This did not bother me as much, however, after I added the one ingredient that the soup was missing: Klonopin! I then washed it all down with two pints of Racer 5 IPA, one of the most delicious and highly alcoholic beers I know of. I then stumbled into the street, punched a cop, and then slept for 17 hours. Thank you, Bistro Zinc!

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Overall soup rating: 8 Soup-Boners (out of a possible 10).

More French onion soup reviews to come in the future. If you have a lead on an especially satisfying crock thereof, email me at 413some@gmail.com.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Brand New Drug

You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything for a while. That's because I have discovered something even better than blogging. It is called Klonopin, and it is super! Felling anxious? Try a delicious slice Klonopin quiche. Can't sleep? How's about a piping hot bowl of Klonopin soup! I also recommend it as a cure for boredom, headaches, excessive worrying, sadness, and not being high on Klonopin. Also, do you know where I can get some Klonopin?