Long story short: A pregnant woman is riding on a train, the baby pops out while she's sitting on the toilet, and the newborn falls right through the toilet (way to go, Indian train toilet designers!) onto the tracks. Here's how it officially went down:
So, Indian train toilet baby, welcome to the world! Seeing as you were born while your mom was trying to take a crap and then you fell through the floor of a FUCKING SPEEDING TRAIN and onto the tracks while still dripping with amniotic fluid and mom turds, it's all up hill from here. If nothing else, this'll make a great story for you to tell on first dates. "Oh, you were born by C-section? Well I was crapped out of a fucking train's butthole!" Pure gold.