When I was young and apparently had a touch of the Downs, Denver the Last Dinosaur was one of my favorite cartoons. Watch this right now:
The show gets a million points for the fucking faceripping theme song, but also suffers some demerits for the songs lyrical content. I'm specifically referring to the refrain, "Denver the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more." See how I italicized and emboldened those five words? It's because, when I think about what it means to be "a whole lot more than friends" with someone, I picture sexual penetration. Denver was clearly giving these rad boys the ol' Time Travelin' Repto-Cornhole. Do you think that this complex childhood imprinting is what caused me to experience a turgid erection throughout the entire 129 minutes of The Lost World: Jurassic Park? I swear to god that Parasaurolophus was eyeing me the whole time.
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