An Inquiry into Notable Historical Figures: David Carradine

Perhaps best known to older audiences for his work in the seminal martial arts television series Kung Fu and to younger audiences for his portrayal of the titular character in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films, David Carradine totally died last week while whacking off in a hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand. BANG-KOK! You can't make this shit up.

After a decades-long, illustrious career of acting in acclaimed projects that appeared on both the small and large screen, and staging a recent comeback as a seemingly enlightened ninja possessing the suaveness of Clint Eastwood in his prime, David Carradine saw fit to choke himself out with a shoelace while beating his junk like Uma Thurman beat that black chick in the kitchen scene at the beginning of Kill Bill.

Way to go, A-hole!