Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Doctor Says That I Can Swear At You!

It's official. I have been SHITFUCKER actually diagnosed with BONER TOOTHPICK Tourette Syondrome. I kid you not. In the recent weeks I've had a series of POONTANG QUEEFTURDS meetings with very professional doctors who, after careful consideration of my situation, have concluded that I have, hitherto unbeknownst to me, been a victim of this peculiar RAPECUCUMBER CUNT-HUMMER mental disorder since early childhood. Have you ever noticed me make strange facial movements? An increased amount of blinking, a clicking of the jaw, a FAGGOT HITLER twitching of the nose, the sudden speaking of random words? These uncontrollable facial and vocal tics are, according to my psychopharmacologist, symptoms of this CUMNIGGER mental disorder. So, friends, I don't ask for your sympathy as I come to terms with my psychological peculiarities. All I ask is that if, during our daily interactions, I say or do anything that strikes you as odd or out-of-place, that you take into account the fact that OCTOPUS DICK I am struggling with an insidious mental disorder. But I sincerely hope that this I PISSED IN YOUR LATTE doesn't make things weird between us.