Unless you are a deaf retard you have probably heard about the movie that Ang Lee is currently filming in New Lebanon, NY. If you are in fact a deaf retard then, uhhhh, sorry you got a raw deal, bro. Life is like a box of chocolates or whatever. The movie is called Taking Woodstock, and it's about hippies.
Here's Mr. Lee with a shiny piece of gold he no doubt stole.
Wikipedia summarizes the film's plot thusly:
"The film, based upon the book of the same name, follows the true life story of a closeted gay man hiding his orientation from his family, through the Stonewall Riots in New York City, which is seen by many as having started the modern Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender movement, through one of the defining counter-culture events of the generation. Aspiring Greenwich Village interior designer, Elliot Tiber's parents owned a small motel in Upstate New York and in 1969, Tiber held the only musical festival permit in the entire town of Bethel, New York, both of which Tiber offered to the Woodstock Festival's organizers."
If I want to see/smell hippies I'll go to see a Ratdog cover band at Nectar's. But this brings us to an interesting point. There are, in fact, several kinds of hippies. Through a process similar to that proposed by Darwin in his theory of natural selection, all modern forms of hippies descended from one common ancestor, who almost certainly smelled terrible. Scientists have reconstructed this crude rendition of what the original hippie may have looked like:
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven ... A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace, bro." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8) He forgot the "turn, turn, turn" part.
This hippie of old has been replaced by several new, less tolerable forms.
This hippie's name is Trey, and he is a weemo.
Trey used to be in a band called Phish. They spelled it with a "ph" because the pH scale is used to test acidity, and they love acid. I just made that up, but it totally sounds believable, doesn't it?. They actually spelled it that way because, uhhh, who even cares. Phish is a terrible band and their phans are phucking inphuriating.
Another insufferable breed of hippie is this kind, the one that cares about important things.
These hippies try to change the world by protesting, but what they fail to realize is that by vocally appealing to the powers that be in an attempt to prompt change, they are in fact reaffirming the very power structures that they aim to dismantle and casting themselves as powerless. ZING!
These are the Weathermen. They enjoy wearing sunglasses and blowing themselves up.
There are not very many of them left.
So, now that Phish has broken up, protestors have been classified as terrorists, and the Weathermen have exploded their own brains, who is left to carry the hippie torch?
Sweet bush, Devendra. Natalie, I'd recommend getting checked for craberoos.