This is what I look like when I ride my scooter through a rainbow.
I have had the following conversation over seven times:
Unbelievably Attractive Woman: Hi
Me: What do you want?
Unbelievably Attractive Woman: I couldn't help but notice how amazing you look while riding your sex dragon. Will you impregnate me?
Allow me to now introduce you to some of the other Berkshires residents who have discovered that riding a scooter rockets you right to the top of the cool charts.
This is Garrit (to the right). Before he got a scooter, he was much shorter and his face looked like a butt. Now he is a total panty-dropper. Nathan (to the left) is his security guard.
This is Justin. Before he got a scooter he was as infertile as a mule. Now he has, like, 12 daughters. His loins are so full of life that his scooter itself is now pregnant. The child will probably be a lawnmower.
Justin introduced me to scooters. He is a true American hero.
Another way in which scooters are unbelievably incredible is that they use very little gas. Every time you don't ride a scooter, the terrorists win. Put that in your unpatriotic pipe and smoke it, Benedict Arnold!
If you have a scooter and would like to join BLO-ME (Berkshire League of Moped Enthusiasts), email a photo of yourself looking fucking amazing while riding or reclining on it to firstname.lastname@example.org.